I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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