After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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