Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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