I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
