Who wears a wallet chain?!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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