she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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