Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
