I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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