I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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