stop calling my apartment porn island.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
