i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
