We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
