2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She's the barista slut.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize