so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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