perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
