You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
