I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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