Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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