So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
