i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
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So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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