I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
