Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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