i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just want to make out with him forever
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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