He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
