Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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