I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
