i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
how drunk are you?
Several
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
