Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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