big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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