you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
