Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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