let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
