I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
