margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
