i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
