is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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