it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
