haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize