last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
