plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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