I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
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hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
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He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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