Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
