So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Are we still banned from the library?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
