Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
