I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dick very happy bro
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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