Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
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She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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