Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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