I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
