Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
