He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Sober January is a disaster.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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