my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
When are your genitals available?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
