i think my tv is drunk
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
