I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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