hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
