dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
