D3 body, D1 cock
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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