HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she looked like the before picture.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
