I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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