so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
