It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
