if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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