he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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