He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
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I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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