her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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