I want to walk on stilts...naked
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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